Suzy, Drinker Of Coffee

On the way home from work tonight (on the last Stagecoach Strathtay 76 out of the Technology Park), we had a Dundee based bus (33260 - ex 310) and driver, after the Arbroath based vehicle (32477 - ex 302 - the same one I had for the last two nights) had suffered a broken window (and I later found out it was the windscreen, and unfortunately, the driver ended up injured too). One thing I did notice was the huge - and plain - "Dundee 76" on the front, in big orange LED's. It's not quite the Dundee City Centre 76/via Harris Academy, via Roseangle etc. that (until now) flip around. Turns out that the huge number of variations in services etc. have generated a very large list, and the new management have decided to simplify things. I would have personally preferred a plain "Dundee City Centre 76" instead of just Dundee. Tomorrow is the day that it all goes live, at least of those that have already been updated. Cameras out...

For those interested in Travel Dundee, be prepared to increase your jottings! Until now, Travel Dundee (Tayside Buses, Tayside Regional Council, Dundee Corporation) have given every vehicle a number, and these are in blocks for batches of vehicles etc. These are usually low, 1 upwards (well, 01 currently). At the moment, there are 01-18 (Volvo/Gemini deckers), 59-63 (X-City Direct Volvo B6's), 64-66 (ex WM Scania's), 67 (the B7L), 114 (Scania MaxCi), 115 (ex WM Volvo B10L), 122-151 (native Volvo B10L's), 152-161 (original Volvo B10BLE's),. 162-164 (original B6LE's), 165-179 (second batch of B10BLE)'s, 200-201 (ex WM Solo's), 202-208 (ex London [211] Optare Excels), 209-212 (ex London [U3] Optare Excels). Then, you have the W numbers for the Wishart's unit vehicles, and the TC numbers for the coaches, and the SB numbers for the three yellow school buses. That is how it has been - and until now, there was a "glass ceiling" at 315 - so there was never a Dundee/Tayside bus numbered above 315. Reason - the fuel filler cards (in the old days) were pre-printed grid, which ran from 1 to 315... in any case, the fleet is a fraction of that size now. Computers have made the last restriction irrelevant now, but it was never broken, even given the chance. Until now. See, all vehicles in the Travel Dundee bus and coach fleets are being given 7xxx numbers. For those with bad memories (i.e. me), it's not too bad, because all you have to do is to add seven thousand to the number i.e. 7018 instead of 18. Why, you may wonder? Travel London are being renumbered (again) in a 8xxx or 9xxx series. Travel West Midlands & Travel Coventry vehicles can occupy the remainder of the series... and there you have it, a tidy little National Express Group Bus Division national series! For those who are wondering, apparently there are no plans to reunite old batches i.e. the Solo's which are now in London, Dundee, and the Midlands...

OK, so why did I say that? When I was on rota - the "original" rotas we had i.e. when there were a fair mix of early, late and weekends in everyone's pattern, and not just leaving Saturday night to those like me - I was frequently on this pattern. I'd often swap them, especially for 0700-0800ish starts. Indeed, "three till eleven" was the first shift I worked on the floor, after training. The rota changes over the years have taken away a lot of the "fun" of the old patterns, I feel... and as you may have noticed from my previous posts, I am in today, from 1500!

I tried to sleep as long as I could... knowing that that extra hour on the end of my shift would make all the difference. I slept almost till lunchtime - 1145ish when I finally sat up in bed, and about 15 minutes later till I left the bedroom... well, because I could...

Got to work, and after a brief discussion, confirmed that I am working the full 1500-2300 Monday-Friday shift (that's 40 hours total spread, 37.5 hours paid, 35 hours worked). Until now, for the last year and a half, I've had 36 hours spread, 34 paid, 32 worked. If that's too much information for you, then let me explain it (the terms are mine, and not those of the company). "Spread" is the total compass of work i.e. start to finish, sign-on to sign-off, whatever you want to call it. Paid is the number of hours I get paid. Hours worked is the hours I take calls (or for now, answer emails). Why are they different? Our middle (lunch) break is unpaid, but two shorter breaks per day are paid. You do the math(s).

Today - eight hours of the email team, and it was good. It still felt weird, heading for the shower at the time I'd been used to starting work... and still having plenty time to make it in the door! One of the people from my original training group is doing the same thing - he is the only one left! - but he is off today, in tomorrow.

Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, and all you scallies and slappers on a stag and hen weekend. Welcome aboard this inaugural Chavair flight from Liverpool to Ibeeza. Your pilots today are Wayne and Daz, with their mate Baz leaning over from the jump seat urging them to go a bit faster. Your cabin staff are Shazza, Courtney and Kylie, who shouldn’t be flying as she’s up the duff again but wants her attendance bonus.

Please ensure that all your Kwik Save carrier bags are safely stowed in the overhead lockers or shoved under the seat in front of you.

Those passengers who have sat in the emergency exit rows thinking you will be able to get off of the plane first or who want the extra legroom so you can sprawl out admiring your white Kappa trainers will need to ensure that all items of hand baggage and spare trackies are stowed in the overhead lockers for take off and again for landing, including when we divert to Barcelona to kick off the drunk ASBO-holder in Row 6.

Please ensure that items you try to place in the overhead lockers such as baby buggies, bottles of Duty Free White Lightning, tamazipan and ghetto blasters are stowed securely as they could fall out and injure yourself or someone else. If you require any assistance at this time please do not hesitate to contact a member of Injury Lawyers 4 U who will shortly pass through the cabin to hand out claim forms and business cards.

You should now make sure that your fatbelt is fastened in preparation for departure. In the interest of safety and good taste your I-pod should be turned down to less than 120 decibels whilst the aircraft is on the ground. The use of electronic equipment (that’s anything that requires batteries) is not permitted whilst the fasten seatbelt signs are illuminated so please take off your Securicor tags now.

Mobile phones must now be switched off and remain switched off for the duration of the flight, even if you have only just lifted them from the Carphone Warehouse shop in the terminal building.

We shall now take you through our safety procedures and equipment onboard this Boeing 737-300GTi aircraft what Wayne has Twocked off the apron.

In the seat pocket in front of you, you will find a safety instruction card, unless the last passenger nicked it to flog on E-bay. Please take time to look at the pictures and avoid dribbling as you move your lips while trying to read the words on it. It highlights important safety information such as escape routes, lifejackets and the sprinkler system that will hose you down if you try to have a crafty smoke in the toilets. It also shows the bracing position which must be adopted in an emergency landing to protect your medallions, sovs, and unnecessarily large hoop earrings.

Emergency exits are located on both sides of the aircraft; they are clearly marked and are being pointed out to you now. Unlike other emergency situations that you might be more used to, you will not be able to do one out of the window. There are two doors at the rear of the cabin, (please note, these are not the ones marked ‘Toilet’), two over-wing exits for those of you weighing less than twenty stone, and two doors at the front.

Please take a moment now to locate your nearest exit, which might be behind you. To help you find your way, additional lighting is provided in the aisle at floor level so you can crawl out on your hands and knees, bit like going home on Saturday night.

If the cabin air supply fails, cans like these will automatically be presented from the panel above your head. When the can appears, extinguish your cigarette (shame though it is to waste your last one), place it over your mouth and drink normally. Do make sure your own can is empty before helping yourself to others.

A designer lifejacket is located in a pocket beneath your seat. For those of you who are unable to swim, you have left it a bit late to learn. Place the lifejacket over your head and secure it to your shellsuit by means of this tape. Do not inflate your lifejacket until you are well outside the aircraft. You will know you are outside the aircraft as you will be very wet, especially those of you weighed down by too much fake gold jewellery from Argos. At this time your seatbelts should be fastened. Extension belts are available for those who are in possession of loyalty cards from Burger King.

We will shortly be commencing your inflight service. This evening we will be giving you an opportunity to choose from our wide selection of bling, tax-free Lambrini and a range of snide Liverpool, Man U and England shirts. By the way we have anti-tampering alarms on all our trolleys that spray you with Burberry check dye should you try to rob from it.

Onboard today we have on offer a choice of Super-sized Big Mac meals, chicken tikka masala or kebabs. We accept UK sterling or Euros as well as major credit cards which must be in your own name. You will find in the seat pocket a price list and full details of outlets and fences for your tax-free goods.

Finally, on behalf of all of us at Chavair, may we thank you for flying with us today. We hope that you enjoy your flight and we look forward to seeing you when your licence is revoked and you are recalled to prison in a few days time.

A quiet day, but I was out for food & things. Not a lot of money right now, having had to spread it a bit thinner over the last few weeks - but I did manage to get two new pairs of shoes in a clearout, for £5 then £10. That should hopefully stop me slipping… well, half as much as usual. Home, and a chance to talk to Jay for the first time in a while… he was due to finish work around 1800 my time, but someone else was off, so he ended up working late! Emails are good, but I guess we both had a lot to catch up on.

I had a really long day yesterday, which ended up getting longer… and I was up for a very long time, and into the morning. I had every intention of going into work, but I ended up getting in 45 minutes late, running out of time!

The Courier had a more detailed story on what happened in yesterday's Ardler bus crash...

"A DUNDEE WOMAN spoke of her miraculous escape last night after she came face to face with a bus moments before it crashed into her Ardler home.
A shocked and shaken Jessie Sword told The Courier she feared a plane had crashed outside her Rosemount Road home before realising a Travel Dundee bus had swerved off the road, slamming into the front of her house.
As well as considering herself extremely lucky to walk away, the 61-year-old said she could not believe approximately 20 bus passengers and those inside a 4x4 hit during the incident had escaped with minor injuries.
She said she was working on her computer all day in her two-bedroom semi-detached home and decided to take a break and watch a film on TV.
"It's not something I usually do, I was just sitting in the living room at around 4.30pm when I heard this enormous bang.
"My blinds were closed and I got up because I thought something must have happened outside on the street, but staring me in the face was a bus and the bus driver staring right back at me.
"It literally shook the house as it impacted, I turned and ran away towards my kitchen to get away. I didn't know what to do-it was just all too unreal to be real. I tried phoning 999 but the bus had knocked out the phone line. I felt trapped but I went back to the front of the house and saw my neighbours Wendy and Brian, they helped me get out and took me back to their house."
Paramedics gave Ms Sword the all clear last night-however she was extremely concerned about the future of her much loved home.
"I've been living there for almost five years and I really like my house. In all the confusion one of my first thoughts was I need to phone Sanctuary and find out what's happening?"
However, it seems Ms Sword will be forced to live elsewhere for the time being as Dundee City Council structural engineers confirmed her own and her neighbour's house were structurally unsafe.
A representative from Sanctuary visited Ms Sword last night to ease her fears that she would be homeless.
Instead she assured her every effort was being made to find her a hotel for the night before accommodation in the Ardler area was secured today.
Ms Sword added, "I'm extremely grateful for the emergency services' help as they have been really great.
"It's such a shock, but I'm extremely thankful to have walked out alive."
Those in the bus and 4x4 appear to have escaped without serious injury.
Sixty-four-year-old Jim Falconer was on board and told The Courier he was making his usual trip home to Fintry on the circular route from nearby Dunsinane Industrial Estate.
Mr Falconer added, "There were maybe 15 to 20 of us on the bus. A lot of the usual faces get the same bus every night, people from Remploy and a few others.
"We had turned onto Rosemount Road when there was a sudden bang. I was sitting at the back of the bus and could see clearly that we were swerving across the road towards Gullane Avenue before we hit another vehicle and careered off through the metal fencing into the house.
"It all happened in slow motion. There was a tremendous bang when we hit the house and everyone got thrown forwards, but it seems as though no one was badly injured.
"The 4x4 had a man and two young girls inside, but they seemed to be fine. Everyone on the bus was extremely shaken, but a lot of people phoned relatives and were picked up quite quickly.
"I can't believe everyone has walked away from this. How the driver didn't get hurt I just don't know, I think we are all extremely fortunate."
Macalpine Road watch manager Rab Middlemiss said emergency services had arrived to a chaotic scene as passengers of both vehicles had escaped out onto the street to be joined by shocked neighbours rushing out to see what had happened.
He said, "We cordoned off the area and quickly ascertained that there was nobody trapped within the house, the bus or the 4x4.
"Firefighters helped paramedics to carry out medical assessments and six people were taken by ambulance to hospital-a further three were treated at the scene. We ensured all utilities were accounted for and electric, gas and water was turned off."
He said the injuries appeared to be no more than cuts, bruises and extreme shock, adding that firefighters had helped to ensure the integrity of the building as Dundee City Council engineers arrived.
Last night police and representatives from the Department of Transport were collating crash data at the scene while city council structural engineers put safety easures in place to protect the house's structure after the bus was towed away.
A police spokesman for confirmed Rosemount Road had been reopened shortly after 7.30pm following the bus's removal from the house and garden.
The scenes bore a resemblance to an incident involving the home of Christina Roberts in 2004.
The SNP councillor and her family were lucky to escape without injury when a Travel Dundee bus with 20 aboard collided with two cars, demolished a garden wall and fence before ending up embedded in the kitchen at their Happyhillock Road home.
Phil Bateman, divisional corporate affairs manager for Travel Dundee, said, "Travel Dundee has been made aware of the accident at Rosemount Road in Dundee.
"It is our understanding that a number 92 Travel Dundee bus collided with a house at around 16.46 and that several passengers have been taken to hospital.
"We are co-operating with the police and are conducting an investigation in tandem with theirs to discover the cause of the accident. We have no more information at this time, but we hope to have more once the incident has been fully investigated."
Penny Porter, spokeswoman for Scotland Gas Network, said, "We were called to the site of the accident at Rosemount Road as an emergency precaution.
"When the bus hit it caused slight damage to the external meter box, so as a safety precaution this box was removed.
"The box has no connection to any gas main and there was no danger to the public at any time." "

Slightly pedantic, but the 92 was withdrawn a few years ago (2002/2003?)… it was Service 93, which (because it only runs once a day, doesn't appear on most bus stops, and doesn't have a timetable leaflet of its own) is somewhat of a mystery to some... and it's not quite a circular, but follows a similar sort of passage to the 9/10/11/12 Outer Circle services.

Work was not too bad - I'd expected worse. [edit]
Then, after a ten hour shift (1300-2300, one hour more than usual!) I went home.


(later edited)

I got the 0720 Citylink from Dundee. Weather wise, Dundee was ok, Glasgow was ok, but there were some snowy bits in between around Stirling/Cumbernauld. As the M8 was the usual weekday morning car park, we were 18 minutes late in, so I called them to let them know I'd be late around (we got into Glasgow 0953, not 0935).

Once I got in, gave them my details etc. and Dr John Ewan was ready to see me, almost immediately (this was an appointment, not a drop-in). I got there just after 1010, and my appointment ran until about 1135 - quite a while in the end. I couldn't tell him everything that I'd been up to (since last November), but included all the good, and bad bits. I explained about the feelings I'd had, stopping Androcur, all the stuff we'd already discussed earlier on. He said it was reasonable to have stopped Androcur in the circumstances. I asked about changing it for Finasteride, and we talked a bit more about things, and he then agreed to this. He then explained that they'd had the funding approval (for surgery) back from NHS Tayside last month (shortly after, he tried to check on as to what was happening next, but no information).

I went back to the subject of the Androcur, and he explained that out of those who take an anti-androgen, it's about 50/50 each in terms of those who take Androcur vs. Finasteride. Later he admitted that Androcur can have the effects similar to what I had - depression, upset, tiredness etc. He remembered I mentioned headaches and upset from the time before, when I visited. We discussed the dates that I'd felt bad, and I asked about the possibility of changing the Provera. Initially, he said that was it, but I then suggested Duphaston. He stopped for a moment (on what he was about to say about provera vs. provera), and then explained what this was, and then we agreed that he would write to my GP, to change the Provera & Androcur for Finasteride & Duphaston.

I then explained that I'd recently become aware of the Laser (hair removal) facilities locally, and asked about referral. He agreed to this, as he felt that the face hair is still be a "problem" for me to overcome. In the past, I didn't think I had enough hair to make it work, and although lots have changed recently, the light/dark balance appears to be right. He will be writing the referral shortly. We then talked about work, amongst other things, but largely work. He asked how they had taken the news about surgery etc. being in the near future, and I explained what they'd said, and offered etc. He also asked how settled things were in terms of work (remember this time last year, we had the threat of off shoring over our heads). I explained about recent developments at work (right up to yesterday/next Monday!), and the fact that from the time I'd seen him last in November, up to starting on the email team Next Monday, I'd had six team coaches! In regards to my voice, he said progress had been made! I then went back to the subject of the GRP, and he mentioned again what I'd said before pre-op applicants and stuff. I explained that I'd heard of a few who had managed, so I was willing to try, and to get it out the way. I left him a copy of the form, which he is going to mail back to me.

One other issue that was brought up in passing - Professor Mizra, who was the psychiatrist who originally saw me way back in March 2005, has now retired (initially without direct replacement). That kind of makes me feel old! As with everything and everyone else, he wants me to stay positive etc. over the coming weeks and months... and that was it, and I was out, once again happy with my lot! [edit]

The rest of the day in the west, was good enough. Met up with Bobby in Glasgow, and used the rest of my FirstDay ticket around a bit of a loop around the south and the east... only for me to notice how inadvertently I'd done a similar trip to those I used to do when the Ailsa's were around! Today I had
Strathtay 52431 M8 Dundee - Glasgow BBS
First 69070 18 Bath Street - Sandyford
First 61697 57 Sandyford - Jamaica Street (he stopped without question this time - unlike November's driver who said "you want aff here?" after driving past the stop AFTER i'd rung the bell!)
Lunch, meet & greet
First 61469 45 Jamaica Street - Pollok building site/bus station
First 33406 22 Pollok bs - Braehead Shopping Centre
First 69041 Bullet (111 on Wayfarer) Braehead Shopping Centre - Partick
Subway car 118 Outer Circle Partick - Buchanan Street
Walk to George Square
First 31516 X1 George Square - BBS
R900 WCM M8 Glasgow BBS - Dundee

On the Bullet, as we approached Partick, I caught sight of a McKindless Excel parked up, with the driver looking towards the river, outside the bus. Turns out we'd caught site of the ship being launched! It's on the Evening Times website, according to the "dead tree" edition (Glasgow paper sellers still giving you a ton of freebies in return for trashing the planet...) The Bullet had seven or eight passengers, for anyone wondering! One was a reporter, sat at the back, who was on before the bus got to Braehead (from XScape I'd presume). He had got on the bus with the intent of snapping the events as they were going on, from the bus passing on the dual carriageway... and he was happy enough! So, turned it into quite a nice afternoon, if a little on the cool side.

After I got back to Dundee, news reached me via the Forum that there had been another bus smash, this afternoon in Ardler. Travel Dundee Optare Solo 201 was involved, on Service 93 (1615 from Tech Park to Douglas). While details were sketchy, the BBC News report said "Eight people have been hurt after a bus crashed into the front of a house in Dundee after a collision with a car. Six of the passengers on the bus and the occupant of the house had to be taken to hospital where they were treated for minor injuries. The accident happened late on Tuesday afternoon on Rosemount Road in the city's Ardler district. It is understood there was a woman in the house at the time. No-one has been badly injured."
[edit]

(later edited)

My mind is currently bouncing everywhere, although I'm not in any physical pain. The cars in the car park over the road are screaming their horns full blast, and the noise from the dual carriageway is still quite a bit. Now, I will try again to get some sleep... but I don't feel tired...

Found this story via El Reg...

UK researchers have hacked a supposedly tamper-proof Chip and PIN terminal to allow it to play Tetris. Steven Murdoch and Saar Drimer of the University of Cambridge managed to get a playable version of the classic game working on the tiny screen.

The proof-of-concept hack highlights wider security concerns about the terminals even though it was only possible after Murdoch and Drimer replaced most of the internal electronics after opening up the terminal. The attack illustrates the possibility that hackers might be able to physically modify terminals for far more malign purposes.

Yesterday, I knew that my head was feeling a little mixed up. Perhaps this was to be expected, I guess. It wasn't until this morning that I realised, and said it to myself out loud - I am a failure.
Think back to Saturday 30th September, when I broke down at work. Even in the weeks that followed, I couldn't put a precise reason on why all that happened. The truth is, I failed on that day, and I failed since.
Yes, I got over my disappointment then, and I thought I'd done well in November and December, with all that I achieved, and those that I met.
This morning, I realised that the last two months have been covering up for my subconscious feelings. I've failed. I'm a failure.

[edit]
This is how I felt last week. Maybe I had the wrong reaction on Wednesday 27th December, but I felt like I'd failed someone else. I had that feeling in the back of my mind, all the way along. I've not had that much in the way of experience in relationships, and this may well be how things are.

I now feel as if the last few months have been a failure by myself to everyone. I've ended up with no one to talk to. I thought my mother & family were failing me, but now I think I've failed them too. I feel as if I've failed everyone that thought or cared for me last year, and in recent times.

I'm sorry if I've failed you too.

(later edited)

I did say I'd do a review of "my" year, to go along with the review of the local transport scene from yesterday. This year though, so much of my year has been spent in progress of my transition - and has worked relatively well, largely at the hands of those at Sandyford.

January 2006

• I finally get my long-awaited follow-up appointment on the 18th, and blood tests now done.

February 2006

• On the 1st, I head back to Glasgow for the results - no issues here, so prescription of Premarin/estrogen agreed to.

March 2006

• My docs haven't received the letter yet, but on the way home, it looks like they have.
• The docs still can't find the letter, but I get my first prescription of Premarin - assuming I can find some in Dundee or Perthshire.

May 2006

• First successful review visit, results in a doubling of my Premarin dose.

July 2006

• Premarin goes up to x3/day, anti-andro (Androcur) prescribed too, and a referral for speech therapy.

August 2006

• Clinical Health Psyc. Appointment finally here, and went well.
• At the doctors re the Cyperetone Acetate/Androcur - and they have had the letter this time!
• First Speech & Language Therapy appointment - since I was tiny!

September 2006

• Another successful review sees my Premarin increase to x4/day.

November 2006

• Quite a successful visit results in me starting Provera/progesterone, and agreeing to write the second letter of referral for GRS.

• I have a look around the web, and find others that have been before, and are going the same way.

• The docs write to tell me there's some progesterone sitting waiting at Boots with my name on it.

• I may have got there half an hour early, but I get my "three months of practice" from Speech & Language Therapy.

Thanks to everyone who assisted this year - especially John at Sandyford, and Sally at Ninewells!