In The News, Whilst I’ve Been Away...
...ok, well I haven’t been away. I’ve had a lot on. My 7th January post showed that there was something going around at work, and no, I DIDN’T GET IT... for the first time ever! So, what caused me to not post for so long?Feelings & Depression - I was feeling badly depressed, tired, lethargic, emotional, crying when I am not upset, and feeling tired towards the end of the day (from about 1900/2000 onwards). After speaking to others who've been prescribed similar and ended up badly (or worse). Two of the medications I am on - Androcur (Cyperetone Acetate) and Provera (Medroxyprogesterone Acetate), have been known to cause depression. The former I’ve been on since August, and the latter since November. On Friday 12th, I called Sandyford, and I was due in on the 5th February "drop-in", but I was able to get a slightly earlier appointment on Tuesday 23rd. The idea was, I was going to question my current prescriptions, and also ask about alternatives etc., but things started to get a bit worse than that. After taking my usual dose of the Androcur on Saturday 13th, I decided not to take any more, and see how I felt between now & then. I began to feel happier in the evenings, rather than being tired and down. I did have a headache, as I had done for some time, on and off. Occasionally, my head felt like it was going to explode! On Tuesday 16th (my birthday, as it was), I spent most of the evening severely upset. I tried sleeping it off, to no avail (there was digging work ongoing under Telephone house, but you could still hear it here!)... and ended up crying and shaking. My head once again felt really weird, and I had to call [edit] for a bit to try to explain how I felt. The following morning (Wednesday 19th), I woke up, and was barely able to stop crying, but then it died down in time to get to work. Surprisingly, although I was a bit tense throughout work, it died down, and I was fine enough for going home! Since then, I’ve had the odd tear, but the headache is a lot less than it was (as a friend pointed out, I’d rather cry at something, than for nothing). The weird feelings in my head are no more. The chest pains (which had been ongoing throughout taking it) have stopped completely. I don’t get the feelings of despair as soon as I get in the door after work. So, while I did have a couple of times where I felt worse than I did on the pills, it looks like this has passed. I had been taking these since the summer, and it would explain many things. When you get upset, sometimes you get a feeling of being dragged down – as I did at the New Year, as well as at the end of September. (I’ve heard worse stories).
Family - the truth is, I’ve no idea. The last time I spoke to my mother was before Christmas... now, usually, I would have had a Christmas card to anonymous, a birthday card "to my son", and perhaps a few other phone calls. What was the last thing I said to her, last time I spoke to her on the phone was when I was explaining everything that happened in December to my mother. She had (so far) objected to everything in my life, so I didn’t expect this to be any different! I think this may well be a good thing, at least for now.
Transport - Whilst there has been roadworks, severe weather, and many other things ongoing in the City, these may not explain the week I’d just had on public transport. Monday towards work, the bus driver gets lost, and ends up missing most of the "unique" section of route. Monday going home, free journey, because although the driver had a card validator box, it was an empty case - i.e. no electronics inside it! Wednesday towards work, bus turns up 14 minutes late! Wednesday on the way home - ok! Thursday towards work, driver issued the wrong ticket, but it wasn’t an issue in the end. Thursday home - ok. So, out of six journeys (half each of the two operators!), two with a notable, and one without! OK, now I am spending more time on other interests than transport, but this had to happen eventually. I don’t think it’s ever gong to be possible to take away the interest totally (past experiences and memories), but see what happens.
Web Work - I am now in charge of our team website at work, after a request from my team coach! I was specifically asked (not offered!) to put on several pages of travel information! which I was the most difficult to write... lol, OK, I copied it all from my Techpark microsite. I also added (by specific request) added a few more pages, like buses arriving at the Tech Park before 7am. These are also now on the Techpark microsite now too. It’s basic, done in Word, and has no hidden surprises. Yes I know we’ve got a huge number of students who study web design by day for a living... but they never got asked, and I did, so there!
Work - This may take some explaining, but to explain, my shift has been fixed since July 2005 at 1300-2200 Mondays, Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays. Despite the fact this is almost 18 months, no-one apart from me can usually remember it. The issues that I had then (that put me onto it) have now gone. I had been thinking of my options as to whether or not I should go back on rota (it’s not that many hours difference), or whether I change my fixed shift for something else. Last week, the management were looking for volunteers to work a 1500-2300 Monday-Friday shift, for three weeks. My shifts for this coming week have been set by circumstances - i.e. have to be in Glasgow for 1000 on Tuesday morning! My usual shift is fixed (see above), and I did want to leave early, and come in early tomorrow, but was told we’d have no space for me to come in any earlier! (quite often no space at 1300 either!). So, it had to be evenings. Yesterday, I therefore did a 10-hour shift (and ended it happier than I started!) 1300-2300. Monday 22nd I am working 1300-1900! Wednesday 1300-2300, and Thursday 1300-2300. After that is done (i.e. for pay week commencing Saturday 27th January), I was offered the 1500-2300 Monday-Friday shift, and my team coach said that I could work it within my existing pattern if I wanted to do so, for the three weeks. I thought it might be worthwhile trying a longer pattern of shifts, to see how I got on, whilst the offer was going, without me having to ask/beg/give medical evidence etc. That, and after thinking about things, I decided that I wouldn’t be keeping anyone up late, so why not? So, from Monday 29th, I am back to working five consecutive days a week (and a dual day weekend together!) - although, this is subject to final confirmation (34 or 37.5 hours).
Visits - Nothing really exciting done recently, but Bobby (the West End Poet) came to Dundee on Tuesday 9th January (the day before the third anniversary of him and his partner Joseph). We had a quick scoot around the City (as we had a few hours), leaving the City Centre to Ninewells Hospital, then via the 14 route to Sainsbury’s cross-city. We passed the rising bollard near the Technology Park, except it was down due to a technical issue (but back up and working the next day), as well my own work, a few of the "out of town" sights, and most of the roadworks!
The next few weeks are going to be times of change. I am hoping to put those "depressed" feelings to the back of my mind, and generally get back to being happier. Work will see a few changes over the coming weeks, but there again, we’re used to that by now! Looking forward to the future may be one way to keep my mind off everything else, but I managed to bounce back before, just a few months ago. If it all goes wrong, again, then, well, we shall see. Thanks to everyone for your thoughts, suggestions etc. in the meantime!
Labels: birthday, depression, dundee, transition, transport, web, work
posted by Suzy Scott @ 22:29
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